That huge leap from being at home with your baby to sending them to daycare is hard. Really hard. It's hard for the child, who's only ever known being cared for by mama, and it's hard for the mom who has to carry all the feelings of guilt and worry around their little one's transition into this new phase of life.
The bad news is, those feelings are going to happen no matter what. Your baby is probably going to cry and you're probably going to worry and feel guilty.
But the good news is, there are things you can do in the lead-up to daycare to help your child prepare and adjust a little bit faster. Here are five ways to get them ready for group care.
1. Visit the centre together
Ask the school to arrange a time before your child starts when you can both tour the daycare and meet the educators. This will help you both feel safe and comfortable in the space. The first day can be extremely overwhelming, and your child will feel much more at ease if they've already been there. If a full inside tour isn't possible, take them to the outside — if there's a yard for outdoor play, point it out and get them excited for it.
"A favourite stuffy or blankie will remind them of home and help them feel assured in moments they might be feeling homesick."
2. Talk about it positively and confidently
Your child looks to you for how they should react, so show them how confident you are about daycare. If you talk about how sad you're going to be, they're going to feel sad. If you seem nervous and apprehensive, they'll think they need to feel that way too. Think of yourself as their personal hype person and get them genuinely pumped up for how fun it's going to be.
3. Mirror the daycare schedule at home
Ask your daycare provider for a copy of their daily schedule and start getting your child used to it ahead of time. For the weeks leading up to the first day, eat, nap, and play at the times they would at daycare. If your child is used to eating lunch at 11:00 AM at home but won't eat until 1:00 PM at daycare, that's going to be a tough adjustment. Settling happily into a new place is a lot harder when you're hangry. Mirroring the daycare rhythm at home is a small step that helps make the routine feel more natural from day one.
4. Pack comforting items
You'll have a list of essentials that the daycare asks you to pack, but don't forget to add something comforting too. A favourite stuffy or blankie will remind them of home and help them feel settled in moments they might be feeling homesick. If they're of napping age, a comfort item will also help them fall asleep more easily. Worried about losing a beloved stuffie? Labelling it with laundry-safe personalized kids labels is an easy way to make sure it finds its way back.
"The more confidence and certainty you show at drop-off, the less anxiety your child will feel."
5. Keep your goodbye short and sweet
Okay, today is the day. Breathe — it's going to be okay. Whatever you do, don't let your child see you upset at drop-off, and don't drag it out. It's going to be hard and your child may cry, but if you linger and try to reason with them, it only makes it worse. The reality is that once you leave, your little one will likely calm down fairly quickly. If you're worried, ask the daycare to give you an update call a few hours in. The more confidence and certainty you project at drop-off — "Bye sweetie! You're going to have such a great day!" — the less anxiety your child will feel, because you won't be signalling to them that there's a reason to feel unsafe.
Have faith in the process. It will be hard at first, but your little one will quickly learn to love daycare and all the stimulation and social interaction it brings. Before you know it, they'll be forgetting to wave goodbye at drop-off, and those tearful early days will be a distant memory.